What the what? | Reader submission

[This reader submission comes to us all the way from Texas from the semi-anonymous, ‘KC’. ]

My first thought was ‘Oh, this is obviously a crack den..’, so I scoured the photo for needles, spoons, tin foil, lighters, pipes, and other potential drug paraphernalia… No luck. KC has successfully achieved this, very chic,¬†Crack Den look¬†without the actual presence of drugs. Congratulations KC! I’m genuinely shocked that that ‘curtain’ isn’t just a towel tacked over the window. However, I don’t doubt that it may or may not be a twin size sheet.

Was there an explosion?! A Hurricane? A mad rush to find an outfit for a hot date?… Man, I hope not. That hot date would have been poorly mislead if that much thought went into finding an outfit, and yet the room looks like this. Guys: Generally, I like to think that you put thought into your outfit, shoes, and maybe even your hair for a date. So, assuming you want that date to end in your bedroom, why is it that you almost never put thought into that?

I’ve been told that KC’s excuse is that he “travels a lot”. Sadly for him, I think that’s all the more reason for your space to be pretty clean and minimal. I have traveled a lot for work, and let me tell you, my room was basically empty. (Think of your home as a hotel when you travel so much. It should be clean, minimal and containing only the things you need when you’re home). It doesnt even seem like KC has that much stuff, so why is it such a mess? Is there a dresser in this room to put those clothes in? (That would be a huge step in the right direction). You’re not there, and most of your things are probably in a bag traveling with you. Additionally, your unmade bed is just collecting dust. The dirty thoughts (not the good kind) going through my mind about this space are not the kind that would get a girl into this room.

Also, I was told that that TV box is not a recent addition waiting to be thrown out, instead it has been a squatter for quite some time. Is the TV still in there? Are you planning to build a fort? If not, why is the box not living at the recycling plant waiting to become something new? If I find out that there are more clothes in that box, I swear, I’m having you arrested. On some sort of Domestic Disturbance charges..

Sense of smell is a huge factor when it comes to male/female attraction. What must your clothes smell like after living on this wall-to-wall carpeting? I don’t want to find out…

That 90’s couch is freaking me out a little too.. The style isn’t the worst, it’s more the lack of use. It looks like it’s the cleanest thing in the room, and yet, you throw all of your clothes on the floor and it remains empty. Why KC, why?! On another note, what kind of ceiling light/ bulb is casting those weird shadows on the wall? Can I get a photo of that too, pretty please?

Lastly, how long have you lived here? Why is there nothing on the walls? Not even a poster? Are you a squatter? This transient look is not appealing to girls, it just screams “I literally can’t settle down.”

The only semi-positive feedback you get is: +1 point for having a set of matching sheets… but -2 points because they look filthy. I appreciate that you have a bedskirt to hide whatever might be lurking under your bed, so +4 points for that! However, subtract another 7 points since it looks like you just rocked that bed really hard. You never want your bed to appear ‘previously sexed in’ when you bring a new girl home.

In conclusion, I still have so many questions, and would love to follow up. I don’t just want to tear you down, I want to help build you back up. Please feel free to reach out and we can have a follow up post!!

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